A Show Written By Men
Hello Anti-Misogynyists!
In figures published yesterday, Netflix’s Adolescence became the first streaming show to top the UK's weekly TV ratings. The first episode of the show, which tells the story of a 13-year-old girl’s murder at the hands of a classmate, was watched by 6.45 million people in its first week.
Like most feminists, I’m glad—and hopeful—that the topic of incels and the manosphere has finally become mainstream, both on social media and off. But—as I mentioned in the post below—feminists have been screaming about the dangers of online toxic masculinity since at least 2014, when Elliot Rodger killed 6 people and injured 14 because he “wanted to punish women for rejecting him”.
We can hold two ideas in our minds at once: both that it is a huge step forward that men are taking action on this topic AND that it is proof of the misogyny which permeates our culture that women’s concerns have thus far been dismissed and ignored. Because what is patriarchy, if not a show written by men?
If you’re interested in chewing on this topic a little more, I recommend this insightful article by the always fantastic Soraya Chemaly (read Rage Becomes Her* if you haven’t already):
While we’re complaining about (cishet white) men, let’s not forget our own biases. As a white woman, it stopped me in my tracks when I heard, as part of the “man v bear” conversation a few months ago, that Black women would “choose the bear” over white women—not a surprise, but also not a great feeling to be part of a group that others (for entirely justified reasons) don’t feel safe around. I thought this video (shared by one of the members of our Discord community) was an important reminder that it’s not about celebrating being “one of the good ones” but about unpacking our blindspots, and working to dismantle unjust privilege:
Along similar lines, I have a confession-slash-apology to make. Earlier this week, on Bluesky, I saw a post by Elon Musk in which he said something characteristically awful about his estranged daughter, Vivien, who happens to be trans. I shared the post with an enraged comment. A few minutes later, one of the trans people we follow pointed out that Musk’s post deadnamed Vivien, and I realised I shouldn’t have shared it. I deleted it immediately, and toyed with posting an apology, but, since it had only been up for a few minutes and few people had seen it, I thought it better not to Barbra Streisand it into being a bigger thing than it was. Still, I didn’t feel great about it. As someone who prides myself on being an intersectional feminist, I absolutely should have known better. It was thoughtless of me—and evidence of my unchecked privilege as a cis woman—to share a post without realising the hurt it could cause. I mention it here because I’m a big believer that admitting your fuckups is the first step to doing better. I know some of you may find what I did unforgivable, and that’s valid. Again: I should have known better. I did know better, in fact, but acted too rashly to do better. It was a mistake I certainly won’t make again, and a lesson in thinking before posting. I hope you’ll give me the chance to do better in future.
Editor’s picks from our online gallery this month are On Sick Women, a collection of poems by Nat Gordon, documenting their healing process as a survivor of domestic abuse and child sexual exploitation, Woman, poetry by Síodhna McGowan written in honour of International Women’s Day, and Bad Sex, nonfiction by Serene Khader, an excerpt from her incredible book Faux Feminism: Why We Fall for White Feminism and How We Can Stop*, which we also featured in the February issue of our journal.
While we prepare our April issue for publication, previous issues are still available in our store, in print and digital versions (digital copies are only £1!). If you’d like to subscribe to the journal, simply upgrade your subscription to this newsletter to paid, and you’ll be sent a digital copy of every future issue.
If you’re a writer or an artist, we’d love to see your feminist-themed work: submissions for our June issue open on Monday 31st March (we’ll send you a little reminder).
A huge thank you to those of you who joined us for our Decentering Men guided journaling session hosted with the unwritten club. We had a fantastic discussion. If you missed out on that session but are interested in guided journaling, the unwritten club are currently hosting focus groups offering a free demo of their sessions!
As mentioned in previous emails, we are minimising our time on Meta platforms with a view to stop using them entirely. We hope you’ll join us on Bluesky or in our Discord community, or if you’re a Substack user, on Notes.
As always, if you have any questions please reach out at info@theantimisogynyclub.com. We’ll see you back here next month, for the launch of our April issue and a little “greatest hits of The Anti-Misogyny Club” to mark the end of our first year!
Rachel,
Editor, The Anti-Misogyny Club
TikTok Roundup
YES to militant free-bleeding. This is also why I don’t get Botox. Are we seeing the rise of the matriarchy?? Sounds good! One of the saddest things about patriarchy is how much it makes us loathe ourselves. I love strong, capable older women! And a skate park full of women supporting a little girl? TEARS. Absolutely outrageous. Infuriating. I didn’t realise I wanted this too until I saw this video. Wait for it….
*Affiliate links to our bookshop.org store: every purchase supports independent bookshops.